yes world. i am #unemployed… it better not be for long
these thoughts didnāt come in the shower, i havenāt had my long evening 1Ā yet, so iāll prolly have more to write tonight, or more like the wee hours of the morning seeing i am having serious sleep issuesā¦ my mind races a whole lot more than normal now, simply because i have no outlet for this energy. yes world. i am officially unemployed. never ever before in my life have i been in this state and it is truly and odd place to be. i have never felt so random and under utilised and everything else. i have been doing my duty of applying and it is so weird this application online thing – i mean i like that i can do it in my undies and a vest, and not have to brush my teeth, but i donāt like getting rejected by email.
i think being told that āi donāt have the experience necessaryā via email, is worse than being ābroken up with on a post-itā Ć” la Carrie (SATC) & Burger – yes I am a fan, for Godās sake even Jay-z respects a womanās right to her Sex & The City. but i am a Bishopās Girl & we reign supremeĀ !! and so therefore I will come out on topā¦ living the life in a new career that i visualise and dream of which is keeping me from sleep. enjoying my days with the beautiful friends i have earned over my years and countries of abode. travelling the world and amassing unforgettable memories.
i didnāt think i would be here ( OoopsĀ !! i jus realised that my iās are not capitalised – if i am to work in someoneās office, i need to be start making big girl Iās) sorry – back to the pointĀ ! with capital Iās
I didnāt think I would be here @ 32, I thought I would have had the amazing job, with some great funds in the bank, living my life without a care. BUT the reality is – I left my job after 10 years in a very specialised niche industry, making & spending shiite loads of money & will still be spending it on paying off an MBA – that aināt worth shit without experience – and I actually didnāt save properly for what I know call āZedās Raptureā and I tell you I better be saved and go into the almighty Kingdom of creative management in all itās glory!! otherwise, I will ensure that there is hell on earth for the masses to enjoy with me.
Itās funny, getting my MBA – even though it stole a lot of wardrobe additions from me, was so freaking fulfilling to finish and to know āI did that!ā all by myself – with no oneās helpĀ !! I felt like the biggest puff out peacockā¦ big & bright & proudĀ !! but now what do i do!???!? seriously, everyone is like you need a break, take a breakā¦ and yes I know, I have made some major accomplishments, yes I know I have left a legacy, yes I know I will not be forgotten, but what I really know is that the damn bills donāt give 1 shit about any of that, and they just want to be paid.
so even though I know and I look forward to the future that I visualise, the future that I know will come to me, I know I know I must be patient and share my shower thoughts here, to maintain my sanity and to be sure I am not insane, cause you know – itās your own world in your journal you write whatever and cannot be held accountable or in reality, cyberspace has the option for that and also a fass outta place person, to stop by and leave a blistering comment. I know that I will do whatever needs to be done to keep those blasted bills happy, and I will do it with the comfort knowing that I am going through times that will truly show me what I am made of, and I will walk out on the other side, even more proud than a dancer with an MBA. But as a woman with some brilliant life experience & memories. smiling smugly cause how else was this gonna go anyway but MY WAY cause I have 3 very distinct qualities that makes a real strong woman, who might I add I just realised has not mentioned a dude in her happiness equation ā¦
* side note – he is more than welcome, he just isnāt necessary for me to be happy but he will surely make it more happyĀ !!* before I get labelled as a tree hugging man-hater. nope I LOVE MEN, in all their glorious flaws.
yes back to my amazing wrap upĀ !
I have 3 distinct qualities that makes a real strong woman – 1. I am a Bartels Woman. Ā 2. I am a Bishopās Girl, Ā 3. I am a professional dancerĀ !!
so take that and smoke itĀ !!!
walk good, bless.
Girrrrrrlllll. Get. Out. Of. My. Head.
At least you’re getting reply emails. Im getting the universal ignore. I told someone today it’s like they can smell the “immigrant” all over my application.
I need to learn that patience thing too. I decided (5 minutes ago after reading this article: http://fashionista.com/2013/05/how-to-brand-yourself-fashion-guide/) that I will not be “unemployed” this summer but rather working on building a personal brad full time and opening myself up to other possibilities as well. Cause I always have to be DOING something.
What truly kills me is that ppl like you and I (bishops girls) have such vibrant personalities that we can ONLY get rejected on paper cause time someone meets us in person, how can they say no? Lol
And side note…last night I was feeling super anxious and I downloaded Season 4 of Sex and the City. Cause this is the thing about Sex and the City that calms me around now. At the ripe old age of 35 (that’s older than me and you) Carrie had $700 in the bank and no idea wtf she was doing and she still turned out okay!! Yes it’s tv but when you don’t know what your next 6 months looks like..it’s calming to have that reference. Lol
Ok ah dun.
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lady !! how you know that whole ‘rejection on paper’ is so annoying because that is why when everyone says you will be fine, I know you they going on them knowing me & my work ethic, but these buggers on the other end of the email eh need to care about my personality, but one day they will come across me and regret sending that “thanks but no thanks” email !!
but yes, I agree with you- I can’t do ‘nothing’ so yep, I gonna get me a job in a nice bar and network and enjoy life on a different schedule, and allow my life to unfold and surprise me, cause yep Ā£700 in the bank and who knows how it’s all gonna end !!!
*Thank God for Sex & the City*
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sooo…when you mention “sex and the city” i was going+say the same ting as your pardner, that carrie bradshaw makes me feel better about the state of my mid30s life, and yes, i did buy those sparkly silver heels with my broken-to-t’ief arse because $60tt cyah be too much to spend on a some much-needed joy…then also-related-but-sadder news come to my attention: my girlfriend just get dumped by her childfather via bbm! not even a post-it; a bbm, that disappear into the ether once you close chat! he tell her he have a new woman as of last week, so they done…i hadda say, this is why i doh have $ to own car or weapon, because man woulda dead!
sigh.
glad you writing though…
walk good biglove
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