Trini 2 d Bone! I LOVE MY HOME

It has been 12 weeks + 1 day since I made my move back home.

On this day of our 62nd year of Independence, it is only fitting for me to share ‘how it going’ in my beloved most southerly Caribbean twin island Republic.

I came home with no expectations, as I’ve said before, and Home has delivered the most beautiful and inspiring welcome home.

My spirit, my soul, my mind, my lungs are grateful – I am happy and at peace. I sleep soundly and wake up bright & early in the morning without an alarm, I’ve never done that in my adult life. I smile so damn much, I breathe easier … breathing is an issue with my b/c of the husband (pulmonary sarcoidosis for those who are new here) … so that’s hella important.

I’ve always been self-care person, but something about Home makes me step it up even more AND the most beautiful surprise – I feel sexy again. When the husband made his grand entrance, he also brought weight (and while I was gaining typical grown adult weight that made me rosy, it was weight my dancer body didn’t know or understand), extreme exhaustion and prolapsed pelvic floor, dislodged ribs etc etc. Yeah! bet you didn’t know all that, cause I kept it moving – but all of those are minor to me being me.

The biggest thing the husband stole was my trust & love for my body, and my empowerment I had as a sexy trini woman (no man turns me on more than myself), and that is REAL shitty when you still have a sex drive but don’t want to get naked – Real mental gymnastics to jump that hurdle to get yours. BUT, my beautiful land that pulsates with sexuality & a deep love for living has returned my sexiness to me, it could be that we all just a hella good-looking and sexy nation, and all these beautiful melanated men EVERYWHERE – I feel sexy again!!! HURRAH!! It means so much to me, more than I knew, I feel like I’m getting back to myself, and connecting with life.

Feeling sexy hasn’t been the only beautiful gift I’ve received. Anyone who has asked recently will have heard this so feel free to jump to the end, but if you haven’t – this is my answer to the question I get asked the most –

So how has being back home been?

It has been the best decision I’ve made. MY heart is full.

In addition to everything I said above. All my business conversations are now with people that look like me, speak my language, and though I didn’t become an entirely different person when I worked with Bri-ish folks, I definitely couldn’t give my whole self without consequence. Now, I can give my whole self and the only consequence I may endure is if the person is just an asshole, that is on them, and have nothing to do with the intangible cultural and lingual connection.

I work with friends and family – helping them win gives immediate connection and meaning to my work, I don’t need to search for motivation, it’s always there. We are building with each other and winning together.

It is no longer a concern, if my personal business dreams will become a reality, I know they will. The folks that surround me, are for me and want me to win, they do what they can to support and make things happen.

I have productive business meetings at bars, under the stars of the humid night, imbibing Scotch & Coconut water. We make plans to build and enhance OUR country, for OUR people. There is always a “aye! you need to meet so and so” or “hole on, lemme message so and so, and organise”, without hesitation. They believe in me, even though I’ve never worked in Trinidad, they accept me and trust my counsel. One of my clients, who is such a joy to work with, I met in what is now my fave watering hole, if you looking for me, you can find me at The Humidor (aka The House). The Food, Team and Vibes are 🤌🏾

In the same place, I get to see and hug up people that have known me since diapers, who I’ve shared childhood scrapes, tears, screams and laughs – core memories that build me.

Last night, the night before the holiday – the Eve of our 62nd Independence anniversary – at midnight our beautiful National Anthem played – we all stood and my heart swelled, with pride, joy and just so grateful that I was born of this nation. Especially, considering it could have been Ghana, or even London, based on the options available to my parents. [side note: Apparently, I owe this to KB – just this morning as I was finishing cooking, cause she burnt her fingers trying to save the macaroni pie from falling, the woman now has (what looks like) 3rd degree burns on her fingers, so I put her hand in ice water and told her to sit down. I am raising her now, I told her to next time let the macaroni pie go “Yuh mad! All my time and hard work and all now I woulda be cleaning up pie from all over! STEUPS.” so yes, she’ll take the burn fingers instead]

At the Humidor, after Our Anthem, which in my unbiased opinion is the BEST ANTHEM, lyrics and composition are hands down unbeatable, (King) David Rudder’s High Mas, (Uncle) Shadows’ Music aka Dingolay and (Uncle) Black Stalin’s Black Man Feeling To Party played – aaaaahhhhh THE JOY! 🎶🎶🎶

Earlier yesterday, I attended The Port-Of-Spain’s Mayor’s Charity Gala, wearing the immutable Meiling (one of my favourite and timeless Trinidad designers). She saved the day with extremely short notice, and had me looking BESS! I got to experience the beautiful voice of Vaughnette Bigford & band and our National Philharmonic Orchestra of Trinidad & Tobago … BRILLIANT! Listen! you CANNOT test our Twin Islands when it comes to talent – we just have it in spades. Next year, I want folks to show up and show out – it was a beautiful night to support important work and causes in our Nation’s capital.

And, finally, we all know how much I love being with the mother & sister – they make me feel the entire spectrum and then some of emotions. I’ve lost too many years, being in other people country, and I’ve missed a lot. Being able to wake up and talk to them in the kitchen that turns morning coffee into a 2 hour affair, and I asked KB all the awkward questions about her and Fred (the best daddy), particularly the belly laughs happen, like right now as I finish this, KB is literally belly dancing naked in front of me, as she’s about to bathe to go to church.

THANK YOU TRINIDAD & TOBAGO 🇹🇹🇹🇹. You saved me. You are and have my heart.

❤️🤍🖤