Lots an lots

so since last when we spoke, I’ve had a lot on my mind a lot to write but I simply didn’t write… shame on me ! I even get boff from my big sis for not posting everyday as I had said… I realise that as I get older my discipline has dissipated… what was once in great abundance and flourishing is now dying a very very swift death … but I will try to persevere and get on it and not slack. So this is me trying world… I will try to go for a run every morning and I will try to post nearly everyday.

What has happened since we last spoke… let me go in order, well had the big first event of our new company that is yet to have anything but a name, but shameless plugs are what it is all about.. so look out for THE EVENT SOCIETY in the near future for being known for great production of bess events. Me and chaddy boy yep that’s my chaddy boy, one of my most fav people on the earth and yes! like my other favs (KB & big sis) he drives me absolutely batty !! but I loves him all the more… so we have started a lil company that is using Uncle Wendel’s hand me downs, which is Next_Level + PosionUK for Nottinghill Carnival, as out 1st clients to produce events for…We had less than a week, 5 days to be precise to do this top to tail and we actually pulled it off, with little to no bloodshed between us. VERY proud !! and hopefully this will be the beginning of some very very exciting things…

Then what else happened… I was privy to some very illegal dealings that solidified my thoughts that I always wanted to be an Old Lady.. and I would be a great one as well… Á la Sopranos, Á la Sons of Anarchy, yes I am a “ride or die chick”. But it better be a wealthy gangster man I have cause if I gonna have to keep a straight face with the PoPo or if I gonna have to be bailing you out, I’ma need a very very amazing wardrobe… @ least I have a head start… heehhehe.

It was lovely last week not thinking about my impending increasing poorness but just to work on something, something that reminded that I have many talents and strengths and that one day very very soon this will all be “that time in my life” when I was learning even more about myself. I also found out that I have a burst blood vessel behind my eye which is what is causing my headaches and I also have finally entered into the final phase of ole age, with deteriorating eye sight – I am atypically far sighted, I can see shit that is real small and real far but put it close and that shit goes hazy like I just drank a bottle of Johnny & smoked a big fat doobie all in 1 go !! But I’ll post about that in another one.

I also spent the most enjoyable Sunday evening that I have in a long time, feeling like i was 25 again, I DID drink a whole bottle of Honey Jack Daniels, then had 2 more doubles by my neighbours after I made my flatmate wait for about 5 hours for me to get home, after he locked himself out… I mean who told him to not put the latch on the door and not put on shoes to take out the trash. Not on one of my few evenings out with great company and Wii and PS3 playing. you will wait !! and so he did, good thing we have great downstairs neighbours, they gave him a phone charger and kept him hydrated with gin. so all was well.

I have been having thoughts of my past, that’s what happens when you have too much time on your hands. I thought about my lovely trip to Barcelona last September with my NYC ladies, and how I hope to God I can make it to France for this years… so then I got a bit depressed about the job hunt. I also thought of one of my loves, the one that was meant to have the perfect ending but it won’t happen and what is worse is I know he wont realise until it is way to late, that we … we were supposed to live that enviable love, that love that people from the outside look in and wish it was them, wish it was them that was being looked at like the way we look at each other, wish it was them that had that inside joke that we just shared, wish it was them that absolutely got immersed in the most intense sexual attraction when we saw each other walk into the room. THAT Enviable Love, that made the walking away more difficult and it still is. It made it worse watching the most random movie on Netflix called Conversations with Other Women, that movie was so very our future. I always told him that is what would be our future.

Aaaannnyyy way, I’m thinking he might need his own post, seeing I have obviously have things to say regarding that. But most importantly, I need to remember to take a dictaphone into my shower so I can record my thoughts because they are so very amusing and enlightening but then I forget them, or maybe it’s kinda like the whole everyone sounds great in the singing in the shower, but then without the steam and shower acoustics, you sound more like cat mating than birds singing.

But 1 thing I must say, I am all good, my happiness is simple. I realise I have had the world of things, money and busyness and I was happy then, but even without those things I am still happy, and that is the best realisation I have ever  discovered. I’, gonna try to go to bed now, seeing my bed times have been getting ridiculous without expending all the energy I am used to.

So I’m off to take some nyquil & fall asleep before 4am… hopefully to wake up and go for a run, and be productive all day !