Trinidad is a REAL place, with unreal people. KB is one of them.

I’m so glad I came home with NO EXPECTATIONS, otherwise, I would have gotten back on a plane, not because living in somebody else country is better but it is how I spent my late teens and adult life, and if I needed to, I could cuss someone in customer service and know something will be done – I get money back, a month or 2 free, I’ve even gotten cookies from DHL for their fuckery. But I digress …

**Oh! there will be cursing in this blog, if you don’t like it, then ignore those words, but you know, it’s my blog.**

Right, so far, I’ve …

• gone to Queen’s Hall (one of our longest-standing large theatres) for a dance show,
• been to Barataria community centre to watch a play that is in the judging for Best Village (a national cultural competition of theatre that brings communities together),
• gone to S+D week culmination dancehall concert (Sheensea + Popcaan) in the Savannah (once the largest roundabout in the world now 2nd cause Singapore always trying to do the most) and experienced my first 6.2 earthquake while bubbling,
• attended a tech conference at Arthur Lok Jack Global School of Business, which let me tell you I’ve been to nuff conferences and never have I had a full plate of food for lunch, I mean, bake chicken, stew peas, rice, creamy cheesy potatoes, green salad and chocolate mousse for dessert – if anyone give me a sandwich at a conference in future – we fighting!
• had to find a new nail tech, ended up at Beauty Fairy’s (more on that later) 👀,
• tried to find a hairdresser on short notice – I should know better!! my braids too messy for a wedding I’m going to tomorrow, so KB had to pull out a 2 cane row baby Zara special,
• been dealing with my customs broker and been to the Board of Inland Revenue (our HMRC or IRS).

A lot, I can’t believe it’s only been 3 weeks.

My absolute favourite thing has been spending time with my mother.

I left home when I was 16 to pursue my dancing dreams and never realised how much I missed spending time with her. This woman is a storm – she is so funny and doesn’t try to be, she is the most random and illogical human but also so full of love but as with most of her generation, they got issues and sometimes she can’t get out of her way.

I wouldn’t want her any other way.

I love being able to say ‘good night’ each night before I go in my room and sleep.

Your girl now sleeps at midnight and wakes before her 8am alarm, to the beautiful sounds of a Caribbean night and birds and cock crowing to wake. I’ve also been woken up at 3am by birdsong, wasn’t impressed at first but now, I like it. By the way, I am hearing all these uniquely Caribbean sounds through closed windows and an aircon running. Dey real loud!

Right now, she’s cleaning and singing at the top of her lungs with her hair in 2 pigtails. 🎤🎶

Into the KB-isms

I remember my mother being an absolute clean freak, she still is, but her need for neat & clean extends to “we can’t buy pasta to keep in the pantry, cause we have no place for it” while I know there is a shelf that have space. Isn’t that the point of a pantry?🤷🏾‍♀️ even if it lil small, BUT she is also the person who keeps random ass shit on the floor IN FRONT of a space saver that is an obstacle course to get to the items on the space saver, like when I had to deal with the internet router.

Her extremes make my head spin, she doesn’t want lots of things in the house, yet … she won’t throw out a broken mug but keeps it in our planter that only has stones in case she wants to use it as a plant pot,

and won’t let me throw out a penis straw …. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

On the “I doh like clutter tip” this woman also uses a computer tower – Yes! I said a computer tower as a stool, for the linen cupboard, that takes up much more room than a foldable stool, and the weight of moving it. On top of said computer tower live my and E’s cabbage patch dolls chilling together in a yellow basket, please note, we are now 43 and 46 respectively, we both moved out of the house in 1998 in our teens – wwwwhhhhyyyyyy are the cabbage patch dolls still here? I am keeping them doh but that computer tower has to go!

So water consistency is a thing in Trinidad, I’ve always known that there are some days we “don’t have water”, and I know that this seems odd to the larger nation folks (‘developed’ as the world likes to say – though I don’t really buy it) but everyone has water tanks and typically its not an issue.

We used to know what days but these days WASA (Water And Sewage Authority) behaving wabby, water will come and go as they please; cause we know that they are simply turning on and off stop corks, to try to manage water sharing, which also shouldn’t be a thing but Trinidad’s need to justify pointless tasks in public service to be a job is well beyond my logical comprehension at this moment – it will be a post at some point.

Back to KB, she has it in her head that she must turn on and off the tank depending on if we ‘have’ water – but also we have a water pressure pump for those ‘no water’ days b/c the water pressure is low. So we must turn on the pump and the tank only when we’ve assessed if we have water, which looks like, taking a shit trying to flush and realise water gone, so you have to run downstairs turn on the tank and pump to fill the cistern to flush, or in the middle of your shower and water gone, and I have to beg her to run downstairs and turn on the ‘water gone’ equipment. She is NOT hearing me about the fact that the pump electricals will burn out with all the on/off nor that when the tank lever breaks from constant turning it will be her ass to catch. I will wait until these things happen and point and laugh at her for not listening when she could.

Finally DRIVING – I’m not a fan of bras, they are the work of the patriarchal oppressor and will not wear them unless necessary. However, driving with this woman, means I may need to wear one – I have found myself holding onto them for dear life as we hit ALL the potholes and bumps, and yuh know Trinidad roads.

But I do just love when I drive in the yard and she is there reading her book by the door. She is the one to beckon the other ladies in the yard to come and lime for the night. This bench lime is serious business, I see cake, doughnuts, pholourie, chatigne – all kinda ting pass.

I am sure there will be many more to come but those so far are the quick KB-isms that make me laugh. And after aqua aerobics, we clean the house on Fridays, and mop (if we have water) cause she wants to have her weekends free in case she feel like liming.

Until next time.

Keep good, from KB (the mother) & me.

xo.