love & marriage?? do you have to do the horse & carriage???

don’t need the carriage jus the love… kinda like this one.

so a lot of my people have been getting married, actually 3 people who I consider my proper people… actually i guess you could say 5, cause 2 of the couples both the bride & groom I consider my people. because of my life choices in the past year I have not been able to attend the 3 weddings of  2013. Anyone who knows me knows I am not an advocate for marriage, I barely an advocate for long-term relationships but if it must happen I’ll go with the flow.

But i do support and love when my people in love, once they in love with worthwhile humans…

so I just want to say to all the married and couple friends I got… well done I am proud of you!! and please keep the good love alive, none of this cheating, lying, silliness malarkey if you not feeling them no more, because let’s be honest people change and the hardest part of a relationship is making your changing personality compatible with the your lover’s changing personality. I have an amazing suggestion for you, call it a day, part ways actually still liking them as a person and not thinking they are the biggest cacahole on the planet. At 1 point you thought they were the best thing since sliced bread so they couldn’t always be an idiot.

so a couple that I take credit for providing the soil in which the 2 seeds could plant… i.e. I introduced them is getting married soon. I do not do the excitable wedding girlfriend shit… I think bachelorette/hen do’s are the most irritating events that require my time, especially if folks don’t get on that strippers dick and enjoy what they spend money on!!

FYI – for any of my friends who are reading this… and you all know already but let me reiterate… I don’t mind the gifts but I do mind a lame party… I rather some real good food, excellent alcohol, good weed and great talk. that is all I want, I won’t be adverse to a stripper but he must must must be good looking not no sleazy slimy dude.

but I found myself waking up last friday to bid adieu to my about to get wed friends, and because I could not be there i  thought what a better way to let them know I do care and I do support i know sometimes my lack of squealing giggling ways may be misconstrued by those who only receive that by other girlfriends. I wrote a very long whatsapp message to them in a group called “married life” only when they responded did I think to read what I wrote and I have to admit… i was rather proud of myself. Reading my thoughts on relationships, many consider to be unconventional, I consider it to be just the way I think it should work and how I would make it work without losing my shit…. i think I’m making sense, some proper sense that if i could actually sell it to the masses, I would have my Sex & the City kiss ass hit!!!

so i thought I’m gonna put it on here so if I need it in the future, cause I never say never and some random super duper dude may surprise me & himself I may have to come back and read this and remember to take my own advice…

You are doing a BIG thing. A very serious thing. A very happy thing and it is important

I wanted to let you know how much I respect you for choosing the difficult path, the path that insists that you always work hard, the path that insists that you will always have to consider someone else in every decision you make, even if it is if to buy organic veggies or not, whitening lemon fresh domestos bleach or tesco toilet bleach.

I am also very proud of both of you for recognising the qualities you want, appreciate, admire in each other and using them to inspire you and knowing when to simply talk it out, shout it out or walk it out.

Moving forward through this life it is important to have people who keep good company, sometimes you get to marry them, sometimes you have to settle for passing by their house to lime but when you get to marry them, you revel in the excitement that you have company in everything you do.

But you also know that you have support to do things by yourself as well. Unconditional support to do something selfish, just for yourself, by yourself and enjoy it to the fullest because you doing it knowing that you have company after you get home, bathe and jump in your bed, right there waiting for you. 

Keep each other safe and warm, stay in each other’s brains.

Do what you are supposed to do for each other and don’t allow 1 day to slip because then you slide, don’t allow mediocrity to enter your space. always make the full 150 effort with each other.

Always wake up and smile and laugh with each other,  have sex every night no matter how tired you are, always go to sleep holding each other’s hand and giving a good cuddle.

Always Always Always say please, thank you, I appreciate that and I appreciate you.

Most importantly, do this for you, do it all for you always. there is no one else who can do it better for each other. The only way to do it is to be honest – honesty first with the good, bad and ugly.

The only person who is allowed to do it and make you cry is the other, because it is always done with love.

Unconditional loving means being the bad person at times and keeping the other person honest and good and at their best, but they understand that and take your honesty with an open heart and a considerate mind and listen to you.

Honesty goes both ways and it is ok to agree to disagree, it keeps you as a unique personality that enhances the other, not suddenly a big ball of mush just cause you share a name spend real money and put some metal on your 3rd finger, even conjoined twins have distinct personalities and differences.

Most importantly, do not be fearful. you now have the company to do whatever you want to do. There is always someone to take your hand and cannonball into the waterfall (how you like that rhyme!!! 😝) so be each other’s support and diving board to take chances, make changes, be different and open yourself up to the rabbit holes and fall … the other side is always brilliant!!! because no matter what, you learned something and are a new and different person but have a new and different person to wake up and smile and laugh with and have sex with every night holding hands and giving a good cuddle.

Big love to you both. 

So this is my only rulebook for anything in my life, and it’s definitely more than rules it is an ever changing spirit guide.

I don’t need the horse and carriage but I do enjoy love.

walk good. xoxo.