i love weekends.

i always have these moments where i have a thought or a moment or an experience and i think ‘oh, i want to blog that…’ and well i somehow don’t and it kinda pisses me off… because i enjoy blogging once i get down to it, just like i enjoy exercising when i get to it. it just requires the right setting, the right moment, the right everything for me to do it. but guess what… today i’ve achieved both of those things, i’ve done the exercise and now i’m doing the blogging… very proud of myself.

so i sit in my sweaty exercise clothes and reflect on how things have been for me recently. a lot of life has happened in this last year and i just realised that in a week, it will have been a year that i officially hung up my dancing feet. but most importantly the things that i’ve done since making that very definitive choice.

in the last 48 hours, i’ve been able to enjoy drinks with my ‘fishers’ my ex-colleagues from my 1st real job out of the pride lands, and then come home to my dresser turned castmate turned friend turned flatmate turned who knew we would have enjoyed living together this much – and being really happy he was home unexpectedly because thus ensued another 8 hours of talking-laughing-drinking-smoking-more talking- more laughing, ending at 4 am after watching my old dance videos for 2 hours, thankfully remembering to brush teeth and wash face before sleeping on top of my covers because i hadn’t had my shower. had this been my old life, i probably wouldn’t have caught him awake by the time i got home and would have simply showered possibly had a little tickle fun with myself and fallen dead, all to do 2 shows the next day. but guess what i was able to spend the time and enjoy a moment and wake up late on a saturday just in time to have lunch in brixton village @ fish, wings & tings and a bess 1st meal of the day. not a care in the world, no massive schedule, lovely weather in london and all i had to do is to go get my hair lazered off my special bits… a girl has got to maintain an order. it’s just simpler to do this cause in the long run, my schedule is looking like it will be too social to book in a wax appointment, remembering my mother’s teachings – turning ‘don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today’ into ‘always be prepared for fun & exciting times!!!’ something learned from the mother, who i am sure didn’t think i would take her approach to ensuring she did her household cleaning on a friday so that her weekend is free to do whatever and would be mortified to know that i apply it always being sex-ready… love you ma!

these are the moments that even though i realise i miss dancing and my old career and i mean the real dancing i did in my early days, the dancing where i was hot and sweaty for 6 hours a day but had such an amazing feel of having my body do ridiculous things that felt so good. i was able to actually put emotion and release my annoyances in my work, unlike at the pride lands, where my annoyance was developed by people not really getting it. but then i remember that if i was in the concert stage world, my personal life would have been in the same boat – not much of a social life, constantly tired – emotionally and physically, my body would be banging but i would be too tired to bang.

so  one thing these weekends have taught me is that i have made the right best decision for me and my future. i am still not used to having this time so i haven’t quite recognised and utilised how to actually reach out and connect with my people outside of making tangible plans and simply just lime. but i first have to get over enjoying my own company, it’s been so long that i have had real time to spend with myself, without the interruption of setting up a show, or a drama happening onstage/off or doing a split track on the fly most likely whilst i am trying to do a show myself.

but here it is, i am enjoying my lazy sunny weekends… and who knew what easter weekends meant!! that shit is like summer vacation in 4 days! thank you philistine, jesus & the catholic church. i am loving just spending time with myself, in my flat, in my bed, in my nakedness… meeting my neighbours in my nakedness – side note: i was talking to my neighbour who was downstairs in the backyard, asking him to collect my package because i was getting ready to go to lunch with curtis (the dresser turned castmate turned friend turned flatmate) – hold on…  let me set the scene … curtis was in his drawers  in the kitchen, he went to open the back door because i asked him to check and see if the sun was real and it was warm outside or just a normal london weather trick. he said hello! to our downstairs neighbour so i shouted to him about collecting my package. i came out the bathroom lotioning myself, and moved into the kitchen so i didn’t have to shout that loud to my neighbour who was  downstairs in the backyard, and then he rises up the stairs and is in my back doorway to the kitchen, simply to make the conversation a little easier and less all the neighbours business to the collecting of my package. my lovely neighbour was met with this … there was curtis in his drawers and me lotioning my naked ass in our kitchen to then see our other neighbour across the way who was coming into her backyard, that backs ours and she saw that scene… where she took a massive double take and i simply continued my conversation, completed it went to put my clothes on in accordance with the weather. and that was how my yesterday started.

i love weekends !! can’t quite believe i’ve spent my entire life not having them, never again.

i’m watching my recorded tv and eating dried mango and gonna cook a wicked dinner then go out dancing later… life is good, and in that moment that as i typed that i think of how much i miss my dad, and how horrible it feels that life is going on without him, but he would have it no other way. so even though it will concern my mother that i write this, she is concerned about my drinking even though her only context is in my blog, which is clearly not everyday cause i haven’t been as on it as i would like … i think this moment calls for a glass of red, a cigarette and sitting out on the back porch and enjoy the sun, with my daddy.

enjoy your weekend!

enjoy it…

bless. xoxo.