i’m going to be better…

So it’s been quite a while, Aaron’s untimely rude passing, kind of put me into numb mode. I need to return to normalcy, and back to writing and sharing. I finally feel like I can things are settling down – I’m not doing 2 jobs anymore … even that was damn odd. As Aaron passed, I had to go back to my old job @ Disney to help out and make the transition, but literally 2 days after I got my new job, so I was settling into a new role and still completely involved in a role that I could do with my eyes closed and in my genetic makeup, so as I look back on it… with me not being at Disney, no wonder I felt stuck, no wonder I still cry at the drop of a hat. Even though, I can get through a day and make everyone think I’m over it and moved on, this shit is lingering, and I need it to be over.

So I’ve found a new thing to do, I am about to become the recruitment guru for the Fashion world. Take my love of shopping and fashion and make it make mucho dinero for me. Simple sensible business sense. So we are about to embark upon a very very new and exciting adventure where I can make something from scratch and watch it grow into being my shit !!

It’s odd. I really want to write but I feel like I don’t have much to write about anymore. I also am not quite sure if I am any good at writing … it all feels like there is no flow, but really I don’t know who I was fooling, of course there is no flow, I didn’t think about what I was going to write, I just thought if I don’t do it I never will and then I will be wasting this lovely piece of cyberspace…

I feel like it has been one long day … but this day must stop, so I declare that once I go to sleep tonight and wake in the morning, this one very lengthy day will have ended and all the things that I need to do for me I WILL do !!

get my ass to the gym !! I was in absolute shock when I stood on my scales and saw that somewhere along the line I acquired 20lbs … and I have no idea where it’s been hiding, I mean it is difficult when you have been complimented on your ‘rosy’ness and then suddenly the clothes you lovingly purchase and care for, don’t look at cute as you last remembered. Even worse when the cause of the weight gain which was foot surgery that was to correct an issue, still makes wearing my amazing heels a bit difficult. So here I am now stuck in a place, where my clothes don’t fit the same and I can’t even add a little leg length to these ham hocks cause my toe isn’t playing nice with my heels. But this to is going to have to end, because well to be honest I can’t take this shit anymore !! I miss my clothes and my shoes… and really if I am to be the biggest baddest fashion resourcer I am going to have to look the part as well.

so I’m guessing if I look back to a post that I said I wanted to get my 21 year old body back… that clearly I failed miserably at… I revel in the fact that knowing a storm  was heading to londontown, and I didn’t go out and buy a shitload of ice cream and cookies to munch on and watch the storm. Granted that is mainly because I have been incapacitated today but a long day and night of imbibing on the town.

I kinda making the effort instead of talking about it … I am GOING to do it, and I am going to try my best… I will go to the gym tomorrow after work before I come home… I will stop smoking and I will figure our how to get more than 5 hours sleep a night. By the end of 2013, I will get back my mojo and shit will be rosy.

bless. xoxo.