Choices

So it’s been a while, but I been busy, good busy, between getting a job (not my dream job but money is money & I’m coming across interesting characters), going to wireless (which meant sitting in the blazing sun and takin in good tunes) and just plain ole living, I have had many a thought in shower but only had time to jot down on a post-it to ensure I can return to it. So I’ve decided I should go in chronological order … to give each post the respect due.

This is the first, this didn’t come directly from my shower but it did come as a result of my showers … it all started from a message on facebook from a long time fellow artist, that simply made me blush… he said he liked my words and he liked the descriptions of my long hot showers and turns out also the fact that he thinks I have “the loveliest, smoothest, creamiest, yummiest feet i’d ever seen.” blush blush blush well tell me bout feeling special… but the best part of our facebook chat, was the brilliant reminder that people in this life come and go, some you meet at a point in your life where you don’t know why you came across them only to find out later on in life that they are good souls & sometimes provide real good random conversation that is sometimes missed in this constant life we lead (this dude meets this criteria).

It made me think of all the relationships we don’t explore simply because we choose to not say something, for whatever reason at the time it may be but what happens to where you go from there. I mean if my facebook fren had told me he had ‘such a big crush for crush for me’ I wonder where we may be in our friendship and communication. Dude is cool, talented and have a cuteness bout him, but his living and my living were of two very different styles when we first met and crossed each other’s paths over the days & nights, we shared the West End. Who knows maybe we would be the best of friends, and I would know his daughter really well and whenever I went stateside he would be on my to-see list of folks. Or maybe he woulda told me and I woulda said you know what… you a cute white boy and I am a sucker for talent, so gimme a kiss and let me see if you can interest me. But what is the best part of this entire thing is that whenever we connect over facebook, it is always random and like all good artistes, very spatially aware over time… but it is always good, and I think I am glad that we reconnected and can share random moments, I am glad that maybe he didn’t tell me he crushed on me until now, cause maybe I woulda kissed him and it coulda done a humpty dumpty and all fall down, and then what chats would we be having now !!! he asked a great question that came out of my genuine surprise that I was a crush – bee-tee-dubs, how the hell do folks keep that so quiet, like i was flawed really didn’t see that one coming, but then again, I tend to not see those things unless you tell me – actually LAWD !! to think of all the good sexy time I coulda had if maybe my daft backside was a bit more attune to people thinking I had creamy feet. so  once again I digress (everytime I use that word I smile, it brings memories of another), and back to the point !! the question was of destiny, “do you believe that everything is planned out for everyone in advance or that free will determines life outcomes?” and my response, which after I re-read when I started this post seemed rather intelligent, if I do say so myself *cheeky grin* and so I wanted to share…

I think it’s a bit of both, there are situs that you come upon and your free will makes the choice that then set the wheels in motion for the next situ to be created… so it’s kinda like one of those, answer ‘yes’ you go this way, answer ‘no’ you g that way… and there are a bunch of those crossroads in your life. and the higher power allows you to exercise some kind of free will so you also have input in your destiny but it isn’t completely controlled by us – and for me to add to that, we also can’t control each other as much silly folks would love to try, so their own choices can sometimes completely mess with your plan and cause catastrophe.

I know he’s gonna read this, so I’m gonna say… so glad that we meet at a different crossroads and share random conversations. It’s always a pleasure and I reiterate that I was not offended, I was completely and utterly dumbfounded, really didn’t see it coming or know it, but it’s sure a treat to know i have creamy feet so this is for you…. a lil bit of cream with a pinch of salt, aye aye !! I’ve just realised that I have possibly just written the most fitting description of me …I hope you like.

and to end, I have decided that as much as it could be ridiculously embarrassing and absolutely retarded to allow such vulnerability to kind of humans that you come across these days. BBBBuuuuttttt I think that if I come across anyone that triggers an interesting thought and my nether regions, I’m gonna tell them. Why? because we are all scared of rejection but we all want to be fancied and have that all-consuming love, and if one of us doesn’t take the chance knowing the possibilities of shame but still willing to say ‘aaahhh fack it!’ in the name of mind blowing sex and hopefully absorbing passionate love. I think it’s worth it. not to mention perfect settings for great stories when I sit on my porch, on my rocking chair. and just babble babble babble as I am doing right now….shame !

bless.xoxo.