getting my 21year old body back !!

ssssooo on my 32nd birthday, a mere 1 month & 29 days ago, I proclaimed that I wanted to leave Disney’ The Lion King (my job for the past 10 years) on May 12th, with the body I arrived with on February 21,2003. Ahahahaahaha !! needless to say That didnt happen … but as I find myself with a significantly increased amount of free time in my life, and my thoughts are harassing me and my extensive wardrobe isn’t quite fitting me as perfectly as it did 3 years ago prior to foot surgery, I am forced to deal with myself in a very harsh manner and cut the shiite out, even though the men like my new size adds curves and extra bits in all the right places, I mean a very very close man friend once told me “I looking rosy” that makes me smile 3 years later, but I in my opinion I already had that so to me it’s just a bit excessive now, especially when it affects my sizeable investment into my wardrobe over the past 12 years … So I got on my hands & knees in a cute pink workout outfit that no one else is seeing in my living room and I got to doing an hour of pilates followed by a half hour of cardio, followed by my most favourite, A mug of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food Ice-cream sitting in my drying sweat aaaannnnddd I’m watching Golden Girls on TLC… did I mention the UK has finally got TLC !!! ***happy dance***  Now see the picture that I just painted… the picture of many a woman’s issue… the want & need to return to a joyous past but the present (& love of ice cream) stopping you from doing it or more importantly doing something you know you need to simply to combat it by doing something that you know you shouldn’t (which is normally more the case for me) .

I  wonder as I write, is this because I am wanting something that I do not need anymore… or is that I have to continue moving forward & not want my old body but a new & improved older one, and so I’ve decided I need to find a different approach. Which is exactly what I am doing now, a different approach to work & life & entertainment so now I have to add food & exercise. I have all the knowledge necessary, being a professional dancer for my life, and also being the right-hand of the most healthy human on the planet – I mean, the woman is nearing 70 and looks like she is barely 45 & exercises every morning @ 7am, followed by a ridiculously healthy food intake. So I’m gonna take all this and really get into it, I’ve just finished off the bad bad ice cream in the freezer, I just need to make sure and not buy it anymore but I will also now make sure and do one of the many healthy happy human exercise that I know and am actually good at, 5/6 days out of the week… I know I know I have said this before, but I’m thinking if i scream it @ the world, I’ll feel a bit more responsible and accountable. Then before I know it, my wardrobe will be restored to it’s former glory !! Then start all the fashion posts.. heheheh

The fashion posts will start when I get a new job and normal office hours that doesn’t require me to be in sweats and kicks and be coerced into sweating because of the physical nature of the thing! like the average person so that I can enjoy and wear my wardrobe – wow ! I’ve just realised that once again my post has come around to being unemployed and needing a job, I feel like my entire life revolves around this topic, and I feel a bit dumb cause I know that it will all work itself out and I will enter into my future life completely satisfied and laugh @ myself for being so bothered about not having a job. But that is the over achiever in me, that really needs to be confident in all the work I’ve done and the preparations necessary… and as Bob says ” Everything things gonna be alright”

So yeah, what Bob said and to make it even better, I’m gonna have a body that will make people be in awe as they once were in my youth – I know that sounds real shallow, but deep down it is what is important to a woman, more so a woman who has been a dancer her whole life, who is obsessed with cultivating the most exquisite timeless wardrobe to bequeath unto her amazing niece or the daughters that she could never picture herself having in her future life (yep! that’s me!)

Til next time, I get a random thought.

walk good, bless.